People always say that if you just do your best, that’s enough. First of all: What if it isn’t enough? and second: How do i even know what my best is?
How can you possibly know what your best is? Is it doing what is asked of you or is it going beyond that? Is it crying over all the work you have to do? Like how much do you put in for it to be your best? It’s not like there is a meter saying “Ding ding ding. You have reached the goal for the day to doing your best.”
In my head your best is doing nothing but working on it. As long as there are more hours in the day you can work. It makes for a miserable existence, but maybe that is what is required to do your best. Is the workload you have to do an x amount of hours? Is it different for everyone. Because it does say “YOUR best”. So how do you figure out what YOUR best is? Like how. It frustrates me, because when people say “just do your best” that comfort only works if i know what my best is and then doing it, otherwise i can only speculate if i did my best and still have that voice in my head saying that I could have done more. Because can’t you always? I don’t know.
Then let’s just say you know what your best is and you are doing it. What if it isn’t enough? That is soul crushing, because you can’t really do more than your best and if your best isn’t good enough you are left without no hope and no choice.
They say i think to much. Maybe i do. I simply don’t think i have the control to stop.
“Your addiction to thinking will come back to haunt you.”
― Natsume Sōseki,